An idiot’s life, part I of IV

What is sacred in this life?

I profess to be agnostic, so no religion holds any degree of influence over my life choices. I’ve been told by more than one person that I’m morally bankrupt, and while I disagree, I feel that I should probably check my balance at the moral hole-in-wall more often.

I’ll make fun of almost any situation to get a laugh, no matter how cheap – I’m a firm believer in making my life as entertaining as possible, and that includes Madeleine McCann jokes and mocking other people’s failures.

I can be a brutal and nasty piece of work sometimes, and I relish in it all for the love of taking the advantage of a situation or person.

People who will pay £50 to drink cat dung I find hilarious. I will allow these people their existence to ensure that I can find humour in my day to day life. If I actually committed to my plans of cleansing the world of idiots – call it a holocaust against the mentally challenged – I might prevent myself access to said cat-shit-drinking lunatics and, in the process of disposing of their corpse, realise that I have missed an opportunity for comedy by not excoriating them while they could still hear my exquisitely constructed vituperations.

The world is full of idiots. My current rank as Lieutenant Commander Boosterboy notwithstanding, I am included in that demographic. I just like to think that there are discrete levels of idiocy – those that are above me and therefore out of reach, and those beneath me that I accept to allow myself the chance of comedy.

These people provide me with a service – entirely ignorant of their noble charge and therefore for the princely sum of gratis. People at once amuse and amaze me. (An interesting side-effect of this of course is that I can only ever win by increasing my own level of idiocy – it will provide more people beneath to amuse and delight me).

The same people who might drink feline faeces are also those people who continually surprise me and redeem the Human race in my eyes continually, every day in fact. It is these people, people who can afford to literally spend 50 notes on shit, that are sacred in this life.

Every day idiots going about their every day idiocy.

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